Letter to the Bank 47

Dear Bullrider,
Art here. I've had a fantastic idea. What if you didn't ever have to lobby government, congress, your senators ever again? What if they simply said: Okay! We'll play it your way. From now on there will be no more regulation. Whatever tricks you come up with you can employ without fear of consequences. Bring on your financial instruments, bet against the economies of whole countries. You go right ahead. We will leave you alone on the one condition that you give us, your government, ten per cent of your profits, and, what the hey, give the American people ten per cent as well. You are on such a winning streak just now all you'd have to do is factor these commissions into your work as you go ahead with your next game plan. Let us all forget ethics, moral responsibility. You'll save a lot of time and energy, let alone money, if you don't need to lobby folks anymore, and you would finally have bought the American public hook, line and sinker. We could all suck the planet dry together! I'm now of the opinion if you can't beat them join them."You can't buck the market," said Margaret Thatcher. Madeleine Bunting, in her article in the Guardian Weekly, goes on to say:
"...and no British government has disagreed since. It was the adage that was used to justify soaring pay for the highest earners and stagnant earnings for the low-paid. The market ruled, and questions of injustice, honor or integrity were all secondary or irrelevant.
A poll for the World Economic Forum last month found in 10 G20 countries that two thirds of respondents attributed the credit crunch and its ensuing economic recession to a crisis of ethics and values."
Well yes! You guys figured this out long ago! The crisis is this: The ethics and values just get in the way! I've seen the light. Aspiring to be Superman is a mug's game! If we all get on the same page, if we get rid of our scruples, things might run a bit more smoothly! We all get a piece of the pie and we are all happy. It turns out you can buy happiness after all.
Of course if your piece of the pie is dramatically bigger...jealousy followed by populist anger might rear its ugly head once more...and I suppose to avoid such a thing happening we might need to develop a code of conduct, honor amongst thieves and so forth, because there is no getting around it thieves is what we are. To avoid eating our own shinbone we might need to even develop ...some ethics. So here I am back at square one.
Please let me know if you can see a way out of this maze.


Sincerely,


K. A. Witherkay

Letter to the Bank #46

Dear Mr. Bullrider,


I'm going to lighten up! My middle name is Art. Did I ever tell you that before? This is my latest attempt to get more intimate. There are so many barriers that exist between us, between you the guy with his hand on the purse strings, and me the guy with his hands in his empty pockets. 

Have you ever noticed how those who do not have to worry about where their next paycheck is coming from, (or, for that matter if a paycheck is coming at all seeing as they are sitting on cushions so soft their paths throughout their lifetimes will be smoothed and swept before them) prefer not to talk about their finances. I suspect this might in part be due to a certain kind of shame or guilt, a feeling that perhaps they should be sharing the wealth. Meanwhile those with nothing obsess about money and needs must talk about it otherwise they slide into deeper and deeper debt. How can two such diverse approaches to this substance that is so essential to us all ever see eye to eye on the topic? The rich do not get why the poor are so upset by their stratospheric earnings. They cannot understand the failure of the poor to make more money! But the fact is the poor are always penalized for having nothing and the rich are always rewarded for having something. I'm not saying this situation should be reversed. I'm just just suggesting people get payed for their hard work. You shouldn't be paid a lot for playing squash and once in a while tweaking some numbers. This certainly doesn't warrant a bonus. Meanwhile the single mother putting her kids through school and working two jobs to get food on the table should be making a decent wage.

Yours sincerely,

the ever elusive Art

PS-do you know he even eludes himself sometimes, fails to get on with his painting, obsessed as he is with his own inability to create wealth. Creating paintings, making Art, (because that is what Art is doing in essence, making Art-he is growing himself) must seem like such an absurd thing to do with a life when there is money to be made. I've tried but I can never figure out how to perfect that watermark. Tips please! You are my bank manager after all!

I call the painting enclosed Score or Underwater. I haven't quite decided yet. I show you this just to confirm in your mind that I'm truly getting up to no good.

Letter to the Bank #45

Dear BM,

It is a funny thing but when I think back on why I began writing these letters to you I realize I was looking for therapy. There was a lacking that needed filling (caused by numeric dyslexia), a big dark hole in my universe that I was in danger of stumbling into (my own financial ineptitude). Basically I was going to fall into myself if I didn’t do something soon. I was at a crisis point. So I turned to my bank manager. Who better was there to provide me with the answers I needed and who better to get me grounded once more? Who better to answer the deepest question of all? Just as life’s more mundane questions—its meaning, is there a god etc etc—might best be addressed by a therapist (or an artist!), the deepest questions, those of a more existentialist nature, for example: how to make more money without creating more of that suffering that usually goes along with the territory, are best addressed, best gorged upon, by someone like you, someone with a level head on their shoulders, someone who faces life’s practicalities with pragmatism, someone who fully understands that without money nothing gets done, but also someone who manages people’s money! These questions are best served up by a muddle headed being such as my self, someone with slightly exhibitionist tendencies and an, shall we say, artistic* temperament. So I turn to you, someone who knows how to make money, for advice. You are my perfect compliment. I’m pretty sure most of my angst can be soothed by the acquisition of said supplement—money, and responsible management thereof. Other questions I have concerning life’s inequities—the ruthlessness of the rich, the cruel indifference of those who have towards those who don’t—I’m sure these questions would evaporate upon resolving the biggest question of all—how to pay for life! Once I also have, I won’t be needy anymore. Imagine a world without my griping, my whining, my complaining! Imagine, and this is hard, a world without the griping and whining and complaining of all those who do not have! Then we could all rest easy. I guess what I am saying is this: if you do your job well by protecting the assets you hold for me without asking me for yet another fee to do so, if you help me to manage my finances, others to manage theirs, bingo! A better world! That crippling distrust, meanness between classes that has been with theoretically classless America since the revolution might evaporate.

"There is a mean low dirty envy which creeps thro all ranks and cannot suffer a man a superiority of fortune, of merit, or of understanding in fellow citizens—either of these are sure to entail a general ill will and dislike upon the owners." (Charles Carroll, wealthy Maryland landowner, around 1776)

I'm putting the weight of the world on the shoulders of you, my very own local bank manager.

Yours sincerely,

Kristian Witherkay

*Applied to myself this might mean: head in clouds, eyes in belly button, interest in money so low on the scale that he is taking a crash course now before he crashes into a wall, which he will probably do next time Wall Street crashes. etc. etc. etc..

Myself might also be clumsily defined as middle class, liberal, godless, possibly socialist. (He reads Howard Zinn for goodness sake!) So if I crash into that wall bangs goes your buffer between rich and poor. Of course I could ramble on about what I do have and don’t have. I could go on and on about how I am both rich and poor, lovely family, great books, never get to go on island holidays, and cannot afford snowboard lessons for the eldest, and how the rich are poor because they are rich, and the poor are rich because they are poor....

Like I said I am the perfect muddle headed recepticle into which the philosophizing around matters of money can be stirred. Between the artist and the bank manager an alchemy of sorts could occur. Together we might make gold!

Article by John Lanchester in the Financial Times

Even as a successful writer John Lanchester is familiar with the precariousness of the freelancing lifestyle

Letter to the Bank #44

Dear Banks,
It has been a while! So much has happened since we last spoke I hardly know where to begin. You have thoroughly recovered from your nasty, nasty cold, bonuses are pouring in, and corporations are now allowed to make political donations once more without being overly concerned about conflict of interest! After all anyone who accepts your donations is more or less saying they will do your bidding. No conflict there! You should consider this though, and I offer it up in the spirit of uncompromised friendship: intelligent, inquiring, thoughtful voters might think twice about voting for politicians who are in the pockets of big banks, business or corporations. Just to put a flea in your ear. That said how about compromising me?

I was thinking I could exhibit my artwork in the hallowed halls of your institutions. What do you think? There is so much wall space in Wall Street, there is so much square footage upon which to hang artwork even in your local High Street branch. I would be asking for, insisting on, carte blanche, something you guys do all the time so I am confident you'd understand. I'd be the curator, my qualifications? Taste. Not to offend but it is clear from your general over regard for bling, love of big boats, furry coats and so on, that taste is in short supply amongst your colleagues. Sure there is plenty of blue chip art, some of it drop dead gorgeous, hanging on the walls of the man (rarely woman) caves of your CEOs, but what, I ask, is so exciting about staring at blue chips all the time? This is an extension of staring at piles of money. Andy Warhol had it right when he painted dollar bills, had your number, called you on it, and made a bundle, and now has your respect as well. What a coup!

Let me know what you think. If you are going to worry about what your clients may think I'd consider using the space of a bank that has already gone belly up and approaching whoever has the keys.

Yours possibly not but sort of ever so sincerely,

K. W.