Letter to the Bank Manager #90 (Art—Gadfly)

"A fancy, a chimera in my brain, troubles me in my prayer"—John Donne

Dear BM,

Now whole towns and villages are beginning to yank their deposits from your holdings. Your thick skin may barely feel the pinch but this must register as a buzz in your ear. Testing—Testing—are we, are they, is anyone getting through? My constant refrain, the one I’ve shared with you over an imaginary pint, in a Starbucks over your non-existent latte, through numerous letters, is that you are out of touch and lack sensitivity. This has only worked to your best interests up until now. If you are without feeling and train your eye only on the growth of your portfolio you might miss the boat, the one that is emptying out your vaults—I know, I know, a grand, unrealistic vision—people with teaspoons, even townships with buckets, can hardly effect the oceans of lucre, the google of green, upon which your many dubious institutions float. I say your, but you know me. You represent many things to many people. You may be my personal financial advisor but you are also a chimera, defined by the Miriam-Webster as:

CHIMERA—
1: a fire-breathing she-monster in Greek mythology having a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail b : an imaginary monster compounded of incongruous parts
2: an illusion or fabrication of the mind; especially : an unrealizable dream
3: an individual, organ, or part consisting of tissues of diverse genetic constitution


Somehow they all apply. You are friend and foe. You are therapist and, unbeknownst to yourself (there’s that thick skin again), you are therapee. You certainly need it. I’ll analyze you from every angle; I’ll lift the hood; I’ll shine a flashlight on the organism that is you, and perhaps we can work on some kind of growth other than the one you are overly focused on. Now that you as an institution have the rights of an individual, I, as an individual must expect from you the kind of behavior that oils our best institutions. You have great potential. You are a lion! Don’t forget that! Unfortunately you are also a wily old goat, almost impossible to trust (not good! Not good at all!), and lastly, your serpent like manner, your slipperiness no longer works in the backroom the way it once did with impunity. We’ve seen through the glass. We’ve observed you slipping into your fat suits with their gold watch chains and pin stripe vests. We know that the image you still hold up to the light is an archaic one and does not reflect reality. We know you are a machine. There is a ghost in that machine that we shall work on. We shall find its soul. We will work on your antisocial behavior. You are part of the pack now, at least in name, and the community invites you in.

We wish only to integrate you...and your money.

Yours sincerely,



Art O’Connor, gadfly.

Letter to the Bank #78 (Keep Your Hands out of my Wallet)

Dear BM,

In my efforts to not demonize the whole banking infrastructure, or every individual working in that system, I work hard to make it clear my target is specifically those who look down sneeringly at us masses and, whilst cleaning out the cash registers, believe that their ability to do so only proves their superiority. Though I address these letters to my fictional bank manager you nonetheless represent my best hope of what a financial advisor might be. I wish to believe that I am addressing a human being behind that daunting edifice who is only trying to make a living and who has some sense of moral obligation vis-a-vis his clients. That is all I ask—some sense. As the holder of my securities you wield power and with all the doubt out there regarding those who do it is high time you distinguished yourself from the rotten apples in your barrel. The You in these letters refers to the Rotten Apples and you may decide you fit that profile or... certainly do not. You are unavoidably part of that massive amorphous target that is the banks and will occasionally suffer from the collateral fall out inevitable in my tirades. So, on that understanding here goes:

My relationship to you, dear banker, feels much like that of a petulant child to a cold and uncomprehending, distant parent. I want to lash out but know I’m dependent on you for food and lodging and so as I strain to be heard I also make great efforts to do so in such a way as to not have you cut me off entirely from my holdings, my 401K, my pension, that which amounts to my thin inheritance. With your hooks in all organs of power—politics (both parties), law enforcement (and surveillance), the Bench (bought by that remarkable individual known as The Corporation), it is hard as an individual to speak truth to power and takes enormous courage, a courage we say taking root with Occupy Wall Street. Their ability to remain civil despite the condescension pouring down on them is an inspiration. As you well know if I am rude, it is with civility. I offend politely. For not truly altruistic reasons I come to you in a spirit of cooperation and suggest means by which we might better work together. Perhaps you could not slap on that extra fee? How about giving some relief to that mortgage burden? You might avoid having to deal with the pain of adding yet another crumbling home to your overloaded books. I’ve heard you are bulldozing whole communities of foreclosed homes because it is cheaper than fixing them up. Why didn’t you fix them up when people still lived in those homes? Would that not have been a better solution all round? It looks a lot like stubborn behavior on your part. If you believe rules is rules then surely you should apply them to yourselves as well. That would certainly mean no more bailing out the big banks. You must be confused at times by the anger that seeps out despite my best efforts to keep it buried but you have so much power and you use it in a disgracefully poor manner and, as even you with your thick skin cannot have helped noticing, the fury cannot be tamped down any more. To not be so compromised by our complicity with the banks we look to the notion of removing our assets from your institutions. You naturally thought of this a long time ago and people are finding it very difficult to extricate themselves from your grip. It’s nasty of you to hold on to our little wallets, wallets that keep yielding nickels and dimes that amount to billions when you look at your massive client base. If they all got up and left your party you’d be destitute.

Yours sincerely,

Kristian Witherkay

PS-My colleague, Art O'Connor, normally a retiring and elusive soul, will read more of these letters loud in  public soon.

The First Great Bank Run of 2011

A Lot in The News Blogosphere About Bank Runs These Days!

A bank run (also known as a run on the bank) occurs when a large number of bank customers withdraw their deposits because they believe the bank is, or might become, insolvent. As a bank run progresses, it generates its own momentum, in a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy (or positive feedback): as more people withdraw their deposits, the likelihood of default increases, and this encourages further withdrawals. This can destabilize the bank to the point where it faces bankruptcy.^[1]
A banking panic or bank panic is a financial crisis that occurs when many banks suffer runs at the same time. A systemic banking crisis is one where all or almost all of the banking capital in a country is wiped out.^[2] The resulting chain of bankruptcies can cause a long economic recession.^[3] Much of the Great Depression's economic damage was caused directly by bank runs.^[4] The cost of cleaning up a systemic banking crisis can be huge, with fiscal costs averaging 13% of GDP and economic output losses averaging 20% of GDP for important crises from 1970 to 2007.^[2]
Several techniques can help to prevent bank runs. They include temporary suspension of withdrawals, the organization of central banks that act as a lender of last resort, the protection of deposit insurance systems such as the U.S. Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation,^[1] and governmental bank regulation.^[5] These techniques do not always work: for example, even with deposit insurance, depositors may still be motivated by beliefs they may lack immediate access to deposits during a bank reorganization.^[6]

Above copied word for word from Wikipedia