Letter to the Bank #17

Dear Bank,

Now you are asking me if I am a citizen or not? For years you’ve been extending me all kinds of credit, almost to a foolish degree I might add, and now you won’t offer me anything and are questioning my background? What gives? For how many years do I have to pay my taxes, pay into social security etc? I admit I am not a purebred American per say -though honestly I have yet to meet one who is though I should admit I’m not exactly sure what they look like- point being- do you want to loan me money or not? I know these are tough times and the fact is you are all in the hole up to your own necks but what are you going to do when we all flee the coop and start burying our money under the mattress? I know if I got a huge bailout I’d try and pass some of it on. That is the whole point isn’t it?

I am not so angry I am unwilling to offer you some financial tidbits of my own. If such words of wisdom would be sugar to your ears in these trying times do not hesitate to ask for some of my suggestions. I have lots up my sleeve, and lots of friends who are artists as well, who are also grappling with the financial crisis, intelligently I’ll bet, and who therefore also know more about money than most.

Yours patiently,

K

PS- I've sent the incredibly sensitive personal information you asked for. You better extend me that credit I was asking for!