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Letter to the bank #37

Dear BM,

Who holds the Moral High Ground? What is that and how valuable is it? Isn’t this something worth examining? When countries sacrifice their moral high ground for lucrative armaments deals have they spent down an asset the value of which they have vastly underestimated? I’m thinking some of the clever chaps over at your fine institution might consider packaging these lots of moral high ground that have been so carelessly tossed aside by governments the world over and then sell them back to those very same governments. They might make a killing! You would of course have to articulate the value of these assets in ways they can understand. Don’t say I have not given you some valuable advice. Of course my biggest problem is I am not capable of taking advantage of the situation because, absurdly, I cling to notions of doing the right thing and doing right by one’s fellow human beings and so cannot separate business from ethics as easily as you guys can*. Also I am numerically dyslexic but that is a whole other issue. You could say holding the moral high ground runs counter to the act of making money but I surely do not want to believe it is so. Then I'd have to think, god forbid, of Capitalism as fundamentally flawed. So if you can figure out how to proceed with the above transaction successfully all the more credit to you.

Yours sincerely,

Kristian W.

PS*—As an Atlantean I fall between two worlds that each can, or certainly do, claim to have held that very moral high ground of which we speak, even if they no longer do: England and the US of A. This would also explain my ambidextrous use of words like “chaps” and “guys”. Hope it isn’t all too confusing for you as you struggle to squish language into the necessary documents so that selling moral high ground can become a reality and not just a pipe dream.

Letter to the Bank #17

Dear Bank,

Now you are asking me if I am a citizen or not? For years you’ve been extending me all kinds of credit, almost to a foolish degree I might add, and now you won’t offer me anything and are questioning my background? What gives? For how many years do I have to pay my taxes, pay into social security etc? I admit I am not a purebred American per say -though honestly I have yet to meet one who is though I should admit I’m not exactly sure what they look like- point being- do you want to loan me money or not? I know these are tough times and the fact is you are all in the hole up to your own necks but what are you going to do when we all flee the coop and start burying our money under the mattress? I know if I got a huge bailout I’d try and pass some of it on. That is the whole point isn’t it?

I am not so angry I am unwilling to offer you some financial tidbits of my own. If such words of wisdom would be sugar to your ears in these trying times do not hesitate to ask for some of my suggestions. I have lots up my sleeve, and lots of friends who are artists as well, who are also grappling with the financial crisis, intelligently I’ll bet, and who therefore also know more about money than most.

Yours patiently,

K

PS- I've sent the incredibly sensitive personal information you asked for. You better extend me that credit I was asking for!