Letter to the Bank #54

Dear Longshot,

It's been so long I've completely forgotten your name. It is possible your bank changed hands since we last spoke, and I use the word spoke loosely considering we have never, in fact, spoken. Are you still you, or have you morphed into someone else? Has your staff turned over? Is it facing the other way? Is the new new team on board with financial regulation or already finding ways around it? I gather all financial regulation is pretty much demolished before it can ever take hold. Sad really. I'd like to get this relationship going again if only to keep you on your toes. You certainly keep me on mine with your continually badgering me for my next interest payment. Like I told the previous gentleman I'd appreciate it if you threw more of my payments at principal in future. Then we might get ourselves on more of an even footing. We'd almost be able to look each other in the eye! A society where the distance between the rich and poor had been substantially eroded would be a thing to see wouldn't it?

Yours sincerely,

K. W.

PS-I'm feeling a little flush! Sold a couple of drawings and have more than enough in my pocket to pay for lunch this week!

Letter to the Bank #7

Dear Bank,

You certainly cannot accuse me of failure to persist. I am confident that eventually we will both see the light and will consequently come to a mutually satisfying arrangement. You know and I know it would do neither of us any good if I should decide to simply walk away from my obligations. You would never do that I’m sure. That said I realize your obligations keep changing. I have to say it is sometimes hard to keep up. Who defines what our obligations are? Who decides to up the interest rate or deny credit or default on debt? I wish they, whoever they are, would keep things simple. Personally I have reached a point of paralysis.

Ah well. At least my house is still standing! Oh and I passed your bank the other day and noticed that it, to, was standing tall and proud, despite the wreckage of empty shops, and foreclosed businesses lying like flotsam at its feet.

Did you know that the number 99, or any number that ends in 9, has the effect of lulling people into spending more? Maybe you should put 99 at the end of all the numbers you send me and I’ll magically feel that I owe you less than I thought, am therefore rich, and should go buy anything ending in the number 99. So there’s a tip for you. Who says you cannot get anything for free! What is more if you keep things simple I might just go ahead and increase my debt!

Yours sincerely,

K

PS You guys are good at Numerology. Do you have any tips for me?

PPS Suddenly I am a bit concerned about offending someone by stealing their photos off the web and having them attempt to sue me for my paltry assets so I am recycling an image from The Bruxist Collective, an extraordinary outfit who have been kind enough to permit my using some of their brilliant and underappreciated artwork for this project. Oh. Now I suppose I should come up with a name...or an acronym. Look for it in a later missive.