On this the second day of 2010 I wonder why I have a blog that is essentially a veiled scream aimed at those who, let us be honest, make money. On some level I have never understood the mentality of those who make money as in see making money as the end goal. Despite my resistance to rampant greed and consumerism, and the unimaginative quest for wealth and power, I am on some level plain jealous of those who do not suffer from scruples and can freely indulge in the aforementioned. I want money to. What I could do with money! Oh how much I wish I could travel free of monetary restraints. But this is wishful not so constructive thinking. I do not mean to sound sour. I love my kids and I make my drawings, paintings, things. Our family leads a warm life and one I am not ashamed of. I write my fanciful letters to a bank manager from my thinly veiled avatar Kristian Witherkay, where I express a hopefully more than my "own selfish concerns" concern regarding the state of the world of finance, money, banks, foreclosures.... But have I really zeroed in on anything precise? Have I found a place of populist resentment (not really my goal)? Have I stated anything that has not been stated on the front page, or the op-ed, or the business section (yes, the business section ) of the New York Times, or Guardian Weekly, or NPR, or Brian Lehrer, or ...? Thing is this blog was supposed to be witty but here we are at the end of 2009, beginning of 2010 and most everyone on NPR is saying a recovery is on its way and I am maybe the only one who cannot see it. I see destructive impulses in banking that continue unrestrained. I see a government failing to restrain the worst impulses of the banking sector. I see my own inclinations to focus on art and poetry distracted by, yes, my own anxiety about mortgage and food and basic needs, and my need to express a resentment I suppose though resentment is a total waste of time, as is anger I suspect, as is moaning and begrudging, and complaining.... So what IS it I am trying to do here?
More to come.
Happy New Year. I mean it. I want you all to have a constructive, happy, thoughtful, proud New Year, one you can all look back on and feel good about.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
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