Financial Letter Pertaining to Baby Teeth

Dear Mr. J ,

We have had brought to the matter of our attention a most terrible oversight concerning payment in arrears for not one, not two, not three but FOUR teeth. We are most upset and in a tizzy here in Toothfairy Land and are anxious to make amends. Crude as it may seem we are keeping matters simple by presenting you with this note wherein it is stated in no uncertain terms that you are owed the sum of Twenty Dollars to be presented when funds are forthcoming. You are not the only ones to be suffering the withering effects of unregulated banking. Here in Toothfairy Land the Tooth Fairy bankers have behaved most irresponsibly so monies are not so easy to come by. BUT with the election of Honey Spring Dew as president of our fair lands things are looking up and debts such as those we owe you are to be paid as promptly as is fairingly possible—to wit—this is a WeOU:

$20.00

Present this to your parents this coming weekend and they should make good as our unwitting representatives.

Yours most apologetically,


Fairy Attorneys at Law Pickleberry Witherspoon and Aardvark Teacupsugar.


PS We would like to add your behaviour regarding the mouth implement is most admirable.
We in the Tooth Fairy community have not failed to take note.



Dear Parents,

I’m bummed about the mouth expander. It is really annoying but I won’t complain. No point as it doesn’t get me anything but sympathetic frowns which I don’t really enjoy very much. If complaining got me a dog or a cat, or a flemish giant rabbit, or an upgrade on my phone (the camera sucks) or another guitar it might be worth it. However I will tell you this: I’m thirteen years old (going on sixteen though I do say so myself) and don’t need your witty fairy letters to appease me. Just cough up the money,

Your son,
J
(bedroom across from yours)