Bouncy Banker

Bouncy Banker pushes a man into a big black hole

Ways to save Money PART1

Guilty of saving money!
One way to save your money is to give yourself your own haircut! It is easy! Take one pair of scissors, preferably hair cutting scissors and begin! Be sure your work area is clear otherwise hair gets all over the place! This young man cut his own hair, (though it must be admitted under some duress. Nonetheless he has a stylish haircut!

Now there is the argument that this young man, by cutting his own hair, is undermining the economy. By not spending and by not supporting his local hairdresser he is not consuming. I personally think we will all continue to spend quite a lot and need no further encouragement to do so! SO when we do strive to save, and pay down debts, it is only to the better! This post is full of exclamations! Did you notice?

Letter to the Bank #6

Dear Bank,

I’ve noticed recently how, when I really need a 0% credit card offer those offers simply are not coming in the mail! Why is this? Has this something to do with the current fiscal crisis? Or is it me? Don’t you trust me anymore? Have I ever been less than frank with you? If so I am surely sorry. The very foundations of our relationship depend on complete trust do they not? If I have, in any way, compromised that trust, I am truly remorseful. I know that you, as an upstanding institution, would never tolerate such a stain on your name and would be truly remorseful, and want you to understand that I also have my pride. After all if the trust is gone what do we have left?

If I have in any way caused you to question my responsibility with money, so resulting in this disinclination to extend me further credit, please let me know forthwith and I shall immediately institute steps to resuccitate what I can of our relationship.

Yours most mortified,

K

PS—Do you know the roots of fiscal? Comes from the Latin fiscalis from fiscus basket, treasury. FISCAL means: of or relating to taxation, public revenues…or public debt.
Next I’ll bone up on Aggregate demand. If we should ever go for a meal we’d have lots to talk about! The empty basket and the basket case could have a fine old chat! Do forgive me. Sarcasm is unbecoming in a formal letter. But, sorry to say this, I sometimes feel that I am not dealing with a human being and, if that is the case, what does it matter? That is how despairing, how mortified I am!

Letter to the Bank #5

Dear Bank,

I am trying a new tactic. How silly of me that I did not take this approach before. I am now sending my letters to my personal branch—my personal branch where they, the letters, will no doubt get personal attention. I am right am I not?

I have included an artwork by my daughter. If my artwork is priceless (which it surely is) then hers is beyond priceless. Still, as is sadly so necessary in our society if one is to survive I have attached a price. The price is that of her home. How reasonable is that? To be more precise the price is what we owe you. As I have said before (and reiterate now) Art is emphatically worth more than money. However for art to put food in the mouths of our children and a roof over their heads it is forced to drop its pants and translate itself into dosh, dough what you will. I asked my daughter what she thought her drawing was worth. She said she’d give it to me in exchange for an ice cream. We brokered our deal and I feel I have made a wonderful investment. You now have the chance to do the same.

If you accept my terms please let me know in the next thirty days. If I do not hear from you in that time I shall assume you do accept my terms and consider our debts cancelled.

Yours sincerely,

K

PS- My daughter loves pumpkins.
PPS- Remember! Art is worth more than money!

The International Association of Astronomical Artists

I admit it. I'm going off topic-nothing whatsoever to do with the current financial crisis or imaginative offspins thereof. But there really is such an association, and association is what this is all about. That said http://iaaa.org tends to concentrate on paintings of space and space shuttles from what I gather. I wonder if they plan to do any shows on inner space, voids, astronomical wealth, stratospheric greed? Now that would be interesting. Greed unchecked might just drive us all to seek out a new planet to live on

Letter to the Bank #4

Dear Bank,

Please don’t tell me you have gone and discarded the drawing I recently sent you? That would seem very clumsy and inefficient especially on the part of a bank that handles so much money the world over. How can I trust you to look after my money if you cannot even respond civilly to a perfectly nice letter and/or take care of its contents? Consider this a slap on the hand but do not worry. I am not going to sue you. I don’t really like that sort of thing. Seems to me that as a culture we are all too quick to jump on peoples' backs as soon as they make the slightest mistake and I am the first to admit that I make mistakes. Still I do think you could’ve been a little more careful and I am sure you can understand that this somewhat diminishes the trust I have in your institution. That said I understand that the artwork came to you unsolicited in the first place! As far as you are concerned it is probably just junk mail! I kind of feel the same about your credit card offers these days. True I have taken advantage of them but now it seems they are taking advantage of me! Note: I didn’t say YOU were taking advantage of me because I still hold out the hope that you, as an upstanding institution would not be so course as to do such a thing.

I am going to let you off the hook! You lost my artwork and that is that but you can be sure I will not be offering you any more of the same. I shall try other banks instead. Perhaps they might be a little more careful. In the back of my mind though, I have to admit I sometimes wonder if you are not actually all the same bank! I know it sounds ridiculous but it isn’t. It is a bit like rolling all those nice brightly colored cylinders of Playdough together until all you are left with is one big dirty color, a color you simply wouldn’t want to work with.

Yours sincerely (if a little disappointed),


K


PS If you are so inclined you might send me the address of your corporate art collection. Perhaps they will be a little more appreciative.

Letter to the Bank #3

Dear Bank,

I am beginning to think I am not dealing with a human being at all! Is this possible? It has been three months and so far no reply! What is the point of sending money to a machine, I have to ask myself. So I am not going to send anymore! There! That was simple! Oh if only all communications could be so concluded! Of course a hand written note asking me to please keep paying down my credit cards would be hard to resist and I would be compelled, as an honorable being, to honor your request. Please consider doing likewise in regards to my previous missives.

Yours sincerely,

K